I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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