i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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