This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i now understand why vodka
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
