I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
