I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
do nipples grow back?
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