Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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