And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
