I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
