I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
