I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
