She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i believe in u and ur pee
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
