Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want her autograph on my taint
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
