I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
that is very illegal...i love you.
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