so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
