wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
