nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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