Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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