How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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