just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
