I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
