It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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