I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
