i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
