I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
