For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
