would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
