I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
