69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize