Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
