Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
zippers are such a cool invention
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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