Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
