OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
