No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We have started to decorate penises.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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