it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
