i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize