bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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