How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
