I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
