sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
