Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
NoShamevember. You game?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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