then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
