How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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