All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize