i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
