im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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