apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize