New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
