he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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