So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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