i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
