i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
