I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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