I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize