i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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