i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
