hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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