# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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