When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I will pee on everything he values.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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