Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
this hospital has no fireball
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
