This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
