Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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