false alarm. still invincible.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
