that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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