I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
