I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
