I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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