i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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