I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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