Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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