told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
