my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
