wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
