the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
