Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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